


Someone To Lean On

by ElizabethPontmercy, MaeghanJonquille



Category: Enjoltaire - Fandom, Grantaire/Enjolras - Fandom, Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Artist Grantaire, Enjolras Is Bad At Feelings, Fluff, M/M, Musician Grantaire, Oblivious Enjolras, Romance, enjoltaire - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-31
Updated: 2014-11-28
Packaged: 2018-02-23 10:07:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2543669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElizabethPontmercy/pseuds/ElizabethPontmercy, https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaeghanJonquille/pseuds/MaeghanJonquille
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Grantaire loves Enjolras with all of his heart, only to know it won't be returned. To make his life much worse, his life falls apart leaving him with nobody but the Amis. As this begins, Enjolras can't help but try to pick up the pieces, which means more time with Grantaire and getting to know Grantaire on a level that no one has known, as he learns more about the cynic he starts to realize his own emotions towards life and to the cynic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so my best friend (ElizabethPontmercy) and I wrote this together. So it's two kind of writing styles.  
> Anyways, enjoy!!!  
> -MaeghanJonquille

Enjolras glanced at his watch for what seemed like the hundredth time this evening. Grantaire was once again late. Enjolras sighed and cursed at the cynic lightly under his breath. 

“Enjolras?” said a familiar voice. Enjolras looked around to see an excited Musichetta approaching. He gave her a nod when their eyes met. “I thought that was you.” She added as she approached.

“Hello dear.” Enjolras said showing a small smile.

“How’ve you been? It’s been, what, a month?” Enjolras nodded, he hasn’t been here since Grantaire left for Paris. 

“I’ve been swell, yourself?” Enjolras says taking a sip of his water. 

Musichetta sighed, “I’ve been alright, just busy. So where has R been?” 

Enjolras shifted in his seat at the name, “He’s been in Paris visiting family. He came back last night, he should have been here by now.” Enjolras said staring at his water. “But Grantaire being Grantaire, must always be fashionably late.” 

“Damn right!” said a voice from behind.  
Enjolras couldn’t help but smirk when he heard the voice. His beloved friend was back after what seemed like centuries. Enjolras turned around to see Grantaire taking off his muddy green winter coat. Grantaire looked over at Enjolras, a smile forming on the cynics face. Grantaire took off his beanie and scratched his dark brown curls then hung his beanie with his coat. 

Enjolras turned his back and released a sigh of release. Knowing Grantaire was back in New York was relief. Grantaire sat on the stool next to Enjolras, he watched Enjolras whose attention was on the TV on the wall. Grantaire sighed shaking his head, he saw Musichetta place a beer in front of him. “On the house my friend.” She says as she starts to attend with other customers. 

Enjolras finally looked over at Grantaire, “You’re such a pain in my ass, I hope you know.” His voice was stern and serious, it made Grantaire burst into laughter. 

“Hello to you too my friend.” Enjolras smiled, he couldn’t help but love the sound of Grantaire’s deep laugh. He missed hearing it. 

“How’s the old man?” Enjolras asked, taking a sip of his water. Grantaire stayed quiet for a minute, then took a chug of his beer. 

“He’s doing better, he’s living with my aunt now.” 

“Is he still…” Enjolras became quiet, glancing at Grantaire every couple seconds. 

Grantaire shifted in his stool. “He says he sobered up, but he has said that many times.” Enjolras sighed, he felt bad for Grantaire. He lost his mother and the only thing he wants in all is for his father to sober up, though it didn’t seem like it was going to happen.  
Grantaire sighed and took another gulp of his beer. 

Musichetta approached the two “How are you darling.” Grantaire cheered, she groaned in response. She turned her head to the group of drunken men down the counter then groaned once more. 

“Those guys are a pain.” 

Grantaire laughed “you poor thing.” 

“It’s nice to have you back Grantaire.” Musichetta smiled “The bar needed you’re drunken laughs.” Grantaire chuckled, scratching the back of his neck. He glanced at Enjolras who wasn’t paying much attention, or so it seemed. 

“Oh! Jehan and ‘Ponie is joining us.” Grantaire felt a ping of sadness knowing he didn’t get Enjolras all to himself, but he missed Eponine and Jehan terribly too. 

“Great!” he spoke trying to sound excited. 

“So tell me-“ Enjolras took a sip of his water, “best and worst thing about your trip.” Grantaire took a a swig of his beer and sighed, easing back into his stool. 

“Well the best is easy, all the French cuisine, tasted just like Moms.” He paused “the worst was has to be seeing my father live without my mother and try not to relapse.” Grantaire adjusted in his seat putting his elbows on the counter and rubbing his hands quickly over his face. “I don’t know.” He spoke through his hands.  
Enjolras felt bad for Grantaire. He had been so strong through so much, but Enjolras noticed since his mother’s death that his drinking had increased quite substantially. Enjolras also knew that Grantaire’s relationship with his father has been rocky since he came out to him a couple years ago, although no one knows that but him. Enjolras reached over and rubbed his friends back. 

“You know you can talk to me about anything, R.” Enjolras’s voice was soft and kind. 

Grantaire uncovered his face and looked into Enjolras’s eyes.  
“Thank you.” He half whispered. Enjolras then felt a sudden urge to touch Grantaire’s face. Not in a weird way, rather just a gentle, comforting way. But he stopped himself. 

Just then the bell above the Musian door chimed as two figures made their way into the room. “R!” they both yelled excitedly, Enjolras quickly removed his hand from Grantaires back, he thought he saw a hint of a frown on Grantaire’s face. 

“Ponie! Jehan!” Grantaire said trying his best to sound happy as he was smushed into a group hug. Enjolras smiled as they crushed Grantaire. Enjolras couldn’t get his eyes off Grantaire; he wanted to hug him like that. But showing that affection was unnatural to him, he was personally never raised to show affection and love.  
There was one time Enjolras hugged Grantaire, it was the morning Grantaire found out his mother died. That was a heartbreaking day, he never seen Grantaire so broken before that day. Grantaire was distraught after receiving the news, Grantaire must of cried an ocean of tears. Enjolras hated that day, he never wanted to see his beloved friend like that again.  
Enjolras slightly shook his head trying to forget the memory. He gave Jehan a forced smile as he approached. 

“Enjolras! How have you been?” Jehan said as he sat down next to the blonde. 

“I’ve been busy, how about yourself?” Jehan then started to fill Enjolras’s ear with his flower talk.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjolras carries Grantaire home.

Grantaire watched Enjolras and Jehan converse with one another. “Grantaire?” Eponine said softly. Grantaire glanced at her then back to the two. “You still love him don’t you?” Grantaire put his face in his hands, he was still madly in love with the blonde. 

Enjolras was everything to Grantaire, he was the reason Grantaire woke up every morning. Enjolras was Grataire’s angel, his world.   
Grantaire sighed and looked back at Eponine who was giving him a sympathetic look. 

 

“I’m head over heels.” He said breathlessly. Eponine couldn’t imagine how he was feeling, but she knew he was in pain. “I know I should move on but I just can’t.” Grantaire softly said absent mindedly. He looked back at Enjolras who caught his stare. Grantaire gave his angel a smile and got out of his seat. “I’ll be back.” He said to Eponine and walked out. A cigarette was what Grantaire, it could hopefully relieve the overwhelming heart ache. 

Grantaire stepped out into the cold taking out a cigarette and lighter. He sat down against the brick wall, beinging to smoke his cigarette. He heard the bell from the Musian jingle, he looked up to see Enjolras holding his coat.   
“It’s chilly, too chilly for you to be walking out with no jacket.” Enjolras gave Grantaire a smile as he handed the jacket over. Grantaire slipped on his jacket quickly and nodded a thank you. Enjolras sighed, looking up and down the empty sidewalk. He then sat down next to the cynic. He took out his pack of cigarettes and placed one between his lips. “so why did you leave in such a hurry?” he mumbled while trying to light the cigarette. He then cursed realizing that his lighter was no good anymore, he looked over at Grantaire, who was trying to keep his eyes off the blonde. “Light me up?” Enjolras says. Grantaire exhaled and nodded.   
Grantaire pulled out his lighter and cupped his hand around the end of Enjolras’s cigarette and lit it for him. He looked up at the blonde to see that the blonde’s eyes were already locked on him. The two of them stared into each other as if they were caught in each other’s trances until some kid ran down the side walk making the two jump.   
“T-thank you.” Enjolras cleared his throat trying to compose himself. Grantaire nodded keeping his focus on the ground.   
Enjolras watched his friend for a minute, he frowned. Something was off with Grantaire, but he didn’t know what. “R? Is everything okay?” Grantaire looked up at Enjolras, forcing a smile. 

 

“Everything is peachy. I’m just tired.” Grantaire said softly. Enjolras nodded, but he didn’t believe him. The two finished their cigarette and got up to their feet. Enjolras caught Grantaire’s eyes once more and all he could see was sadness.   
Grantaire smiled at the blonde, and walked back inside the Musian with Enjolras following. 

 

Enjolras looked over to see the cynic asleep. He shook his head, he couldn’t hide his disappointment. Eponine saw Enjolras shaking his head and frowned. “Enjolras, he didn’t drink that much.” She said defending her roommate. “He’s exhausted. He was up all night.” Enjolras nodded, 

“Why was he up all night?” he asked. Eponine shrugged her shoulders, she didn’t know exactly why but she assumed that it was because of Enjolras. Enjolras was the reason why Grantaire was such a mess sometimes. 

“So whose going to carry him home?” Eponine said, quickly changing the subject. 

“I’ll carry him to my apartment; I’m just down the block.” Enjolras said quickly. Eponine nodded, Jehan quickly caught Musichetta’s attention and the three of them paid their tab. 

Enjolras walked over to the sleeping R. He gently shook his friend, Grantaire looked up mumbling the blonde’s name. Enjolras smiled  
“Grantaire, I’m taking you back to my place.” Grantaire nodded slowly getting up from his seat. “Hop on my back.” Enjolras said. Grantaire climbed onto the blonde. 

“Thank you.” The cynic whispered almost inaudible, he then nuzzled his face into the space of Enjolras’s shoulder and neck. Enjolras sighed, and looked at the two. 

“Have fun carrying him.” Jehan said walking out. Eponine looked at her friend then at Enjolras. 

“Thank you Enjolras.” She said then followed Jehan out the door. 

Enjolras walked out the Musian, beginning the short walk to his apartment. Grantaire knew what was going on, he was still partially awake but, he enjoyed being carried by his love. This was something that would only happen once in a life time and Grantaire didn’t want to ruin this. Enjolras’s scent filled Grantaire’s nose. The blonde smelled delightful, it was the scent of coffee and cigarettes as well as vanilla that lingered. 

 

Enjolras while walking down the deserted sidewalk noticed Grantaire’s scent as well. Grantaire smelled of chai tea and cigarettes. For once liquor didn’t lurk on him, which was a confirmation that Grantaire didn’t drink to the point of passing out. Enjolras smiled at the fact, there was actual hope for the cynic’s drinking. 

 

Enjolras walked into his apartment he began to think of somewhere to place Grantaire. Enjolras decided to put Grantaire in his bed. Grantaire was actually now asleep, Enjolras laid him gently in his bed and pulled several covers over him. Enjolras watched Grantaire, the burnette looked distressed and exhausted. Enjolras ran his hand through his blonde curls, trying to think of why his friend would be so distressed. Grantaire was pale, paler than usual, he also had extremely dark purple bags that hung underneath his eyes. Enjolras eyes widen, realizing he was just staring at the cynic. Enjolras looked around his room and then quickly walked out, closing the door behind him.


	3. Chapter Three

Grantaire sat up slightly, looking around Enjolras’s room. He had never got a really good look, until now. It was neat, his room was full of bookshelves that were filled with books, he had pictures that hung on the wall, as well as a couple of band posters which seemed very un-Enjolras. 

Grantaire got up from his bed and made his bed. He felt like it was least he could do. Grantaire then made his way out of the blonde’s room and into the kitchen were Enjolras stood leaning against the kitchen counter reading the morning newspaper and sipping on his coffee. He had the usual stern expression etched out in his facial features. Grantaire couldn’t help but smile to himself, he adored that expression. Grantaire cleared his throat getting the blonde’s attention. Enjolras’s blue eyes rose from the newspaper then to Grantaire. “I could of taken the couch.” Grantaire said sheepishly. Enjolras smirked a little at the sight of Grantaire. His dark curls knotted with one and another, his cheeks somewhat flushed from waking up. 

“Don’t be ridiculous R, Eponine told me you hardly slept the night before. I thought you needed my bed more than myself.”   
Grantaire’s flushed cheeks became darker 

“If you say so…” he said running his hand through his tangled curls. 

“Did you sleep well?” Enjolras asked folding his newspaper.

“I haven’t slept that well since I left for france.” He said as he walked towards the cabinet and pulling himself a mug. “Do you have tea?” he looked quickly at the blonde, who nodded. 

“I already heated up the water for you.” He said before taking a sip out of his coffee mug. Grantaire nodded, trying suppress his blush. Grantaire quickly made himself some tea and sat himself down at the kitchen table. Enjolras brought a plate of toast and jam and accompanied him. 

“Thank you.” Grantaire said as he started to spread some strawberry jam on his piece of toast. 

“For what?” Grantaire looked up at the blonde whose eyes were already on him. 

“For letting me stay the night.” He said smiling. 

“Well I wasn’t going to let Musichetta deal with you.”   
Grantaire nervously laughed at the comment Enjolras made. He didn’t know how to take it. Was he that much of a burden, even when he wasn’t drunk like last night. Grantaire kept his head down and began to eat his toast.   
Enjolras bit his lip, cursing himself for his comment. He could immediately tell that his words were small daggers to Grantaire. “Grantaire” Enjolras said his voice now soft.

Grantaire looked up at Enjolras forcing himself to smile “What?” 

“I didn’t mean it in a negative way.”

“I know. God if Musichetta had to deal with me, she’d quit her job. Maybe even run for the hills screaming,” Grantaire said forcing himself to laugh. 

“No she wouldn’t. She’d love her job even more.” Grantaire rolled his eyes at Enjolras’s comment. He knew better than anyone that he was an obnoxious imbecile when he was drunk, but the drunken feeling was worth the act. The numbness was what Grantaire loved about the bottle. 

“Grantaire you aren’t that bad.” Enjolras said his voice still as soft as velvet.   
Grantaire scoffed then laughed at the comment.

“You’re softening the truth.” 

Enjolras frowned, “Gratnaire, you know me better than that. I do not soften any truths.” Grantaire looked up at the blonde and nodded. Sympathy filled Enjolras’s eyes “You are not as bad as you think, R” 

Grantaire sighed looking down once more at his cup full of tea “I wasn’t drunk last night, I just want you to know that.” Enjolras smiled.

“I know R, I was proud.” 

Grantaire’s face turned slightly pink. “Yeah, I was way too tired to drink.” Grantaire chuckled. 

“You should be sleep deprived more often.”

“Only if you promise you’ll carry me here everynight.” Gratnaire countered before he could think, he cursed wit under his breath as he blushed.

“You got it” Enjolras said, feeling the need to lighten the mood. Grantaire let out a chuckled, but decided to play it safe and keep his mouth shut. He took a bite of his toast and jam, admiring the face that Enjolras only bought local.   
“Are you going to the rally tonight?” Enjolras inquired sipping his drink. Grantaire paused for a minute, he forgot all about it. “You forgot didn’t you” Enjolras added. Grantaire stayed silent which made Enjolras smile. “I forgot as well.” Grantaire locked eyes with the blonde, eyes somewhat wide. 

“Really?” Enjolras shrugged his shoulders in response

“I had other things on my mind.” He added.

“Like what?” 

“Just work stuff and what not.” Enjolras couldn’t say he hasn’t been able to focus on rallies and meetings without Grantaire. 

Silence fell between the two, Grantaire kept sneaking glances at the blonde. He couldn’t describe how beautiful Enjolras was, the only word that came to the cynic’s mind was Apollo. The greek god. Grantaire sighed, catching his friends attention. 

“I guess I should get going. Thank you for everything.” Grantaire smiled at Enjolras, as he rose from his seat. Enjolras rose from his chair as well giving the cynic a nod. Enjolras walked Grantaire to the front door “I’ll see you tonight right?” Enjolras said somewhat too quickly and too hopeful. Grantaire turned around smiling. 

“Yeah I guess I’ll bless you with my presence.” 

Enjolras smiled, “Oh you’re so generous.” 

Grantaire smiled, shrugging his shoulders while he turned around. “See you around.” He said as he walked out of the apartment building.


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjolras finally learns what's been bothering Grantaire.

The rally was over and there was no sign of Grantaire. Enjolras sighed, and slightly frowned to himself. He sat down at an empty table, keeping his eyes on the entrance door, hoping that his cynic would walk in at any moment. Though nothing. Enjolras rubbed his eyes, and grumbled to himself. He glanced around to see the other Les Amis gathered around the tv watching some football game. Enjolras shook his head to himself, and got up and walked outside the Musian.   
He leaned himself against the brick wall, lighting himself a cigarette. He looked down the almost disserted sidewalk to see Eponine just a couple yards from him. He focused his attention on her and saw that she was in somebody’s embrace. It was Grantaire. Enjolras slowly started to walk over to the two. As he got closer he began to hear Eponine tell the cynic to go home.   
“I don’t want to go home Eponine.” Grantaire said so quietly that is was almost inaudible to the blonde’s ears.   
“Grantaire, please. You look terrible.” She pleaded as she stepped out of the embrace.  
Grantaire sighed, and immediately became quiet once he saw Enjolras approaching them. Enjolras gave him a worried look as he got closer. He realized that Grantaire was in tears and he looked absolutely terrible. He looked as bad as he did the night before. Grantaire looked down for a minute quickly whipping his eyes and cheeks, then back up at his friend.   
“Enjolras.” Grantaire said faintly. Eponine looked behind her and gave him a weak smile.  
Enjolras looked over at Eponine “Is he?” he then looked at Grantaire whose head was once again down. “Grantaire are you okay?” Enjolras’s voice as soft, he was afraid if he spoke to firmly he would break his friend into a million pieces. Grantaire looked fragile, lost, he reminded Enjolras of a scared puppy.   
Grantaire looked up his eyes red and puffy, he gave Enjolras a weak smile.   
“What’s going on?” Enjolras can’t help but feel somewhat panic by Grantaire’s state. His stomach began to turn over and over. He honestly hasn’t seen Grantaire look this distraught since his mother passed. Grantaire sighed and gave the blonde another weak smile.  
“I’m okay Enjolras. Don’t worry about little ole me. Please you have much greater things to worry about.”   
Enjolras frowned. “What’s going on?” he repeated.   
Grantaire whipped his eyes which was once again were becoming. Eponine backed away from the two. “I’m going back in, Grantaire go home and sleep. Please.” She said and gave Grantaire a peck on the cheek. She looked at Enjolras and then walked back into the Musian. Enjolras didn’t notice Eponine giving him a glance; he was too busy staring at the distraught man in front of him. Grantaire finally looked at Enjolras in the eyes, a look of pain lingering in his dark blue eyes. The look in Grantaire’s eyes made Enjolras feel very uneasy.   
“First of all I don’t need sleep, I need a drink. Second of all I am okay.”   
“A drink is the last thing you need Grantaire.”   
Grantaire scoffed.  
“Let me walk you home.” Enjolras said softly grabbing Grantaire’s wrist. Enjolras honestly had no idea what he just did, showing affection wasn’t his forte though the last two days Grantaire has been bringing out this foreign side out of him. Grantaire’s eyes widen when Enjolras touched his wrist, he looked at Enjolras in the eyes “Please.” Enjolras whispered. Grantaire sighed and stayed quiet. Enjolras walked past him, beginning his walk to Grantaire’s apartment. Grantaire looked down for a quick moment debating on whether to follow his Apollo or defy him. Defying him was something he couldn’t do so Grantaire turned and quickly caught up with him.   
They walked to Grantaire’s in silence, Grantaire fumbled with his keys until he found the right one and opened the door. Grantaire was about to say goodbye until he saw Enjolras walk in. “You’re staying? Grantaire asked, before biting his lip. He watched the blonde sit himself in the middle of his couch and looked up at him and nodded. “Why?” Grantaire said as he quietly closing the front door.  
“I want to make sure you’re okay.”   
“I’m fine ‘Jolras.” Grantaire sighed as he sat down next to Enjolras, squishing himself into the corner of the couch, creating himself as much space from Enjolras as possible. Enjolras eyebrows furrowed and he frowned.  
“You’re lying to me. Tell me Grantaire, what happened.”   
Grantaire bit his lip hard enough that he drew blood. He looked over at Enjolras whose eyes haven’t left him. Grantaire looked away, biting his lip once more trying to suppress his tears but he was unsuccessful. Enjolras heard him begin to lightly sob, he turned his body to him and placed his hand on Grantaire’s shoulder. “What happened?” Enjolras repeated himself.  
Grantaire looked over at Enjolras, tears streaming down his cheeks. “He found out.” Grantaire whispered. Enjolras rose an eyebrow, he didn’t didn’t follow.   
“Who, what?”   
“My Dad, he found out I was gay.” Grantaire began to cry even harder after he said those words.   
Enjolras’s heart stopped and his jaw dropped. Grantaire’s dad was disapproving of the gay community, he thought the lifestyle was disgusting, and due to Grantaire’s dad’s opinion he had to keep quiet about his sexuality. “Oh no” he whispered.  
“My cousin, my fucking cousin saw me at a club with this guy,” Grantaire took a breath, trying to control the tears “The guy kissed me, of course I pushed him away. But my luck, my fucking luck, my cousin only saw us kissing and not the part of me pushing him away.” Grantaire broke down and cupped his face in his hands. “My fucking luck.” He sobbed. Enjolras began to rub Grantaire’s back.   
Grantaire lifted his head and whipped his eyes. “He didn’t say anything to me from that night until I left. When I was about to walk in the airport, he told me he knew. He told me never to contact him again and that he didn’t have a son.” Grantaire took a deep breath and continued “Who says that Enjolras. Who calls their son disgusting, who disowns him because he doesn’t like women. Who!”  
“A monster.” Enjolras said quietly. He looked at Grantaire who looked interly broken and then suddenly wrapped his arms around Grantaire’s waist leaning his head on Grantaire’s shoulder. He tightly held him until Grantaire turned his body towards him and wrapped his arms around Enjolras’s neck and cried into his chest. Enjolras nuzzled his face between the crevasse of Grantaire’s neck and shoulder. Enjolras always wanted to hug Grantaire like this, he always wanted to just be held by him and hold him. He couldn't help but think how weird it felt, he never hugged anybody and most of the time never wanted to but every time he saw Grantaire he was always tempted to wrap his arms around him and hold him tightly, though he never did anything like that because that wasn’t what he does. That wasn’t Enjolras.   
“I have nobody.” Grantaire said faintly his body now shaking somewhat.   
“You have me.” Enjolras whispered in Grantaire’s ear.   
“Thank you Enjolras.” Grantaire said almost inaudiable.   
The two of them sat there holding eachother in a tight embrace as Grantaire cried himself to sleep. Enjolras tucked some of Grantaire’s dark curls behind his ear as he snuck out of Grantaire’s arms. He softly laid Grantaire on the couch and covered him with a blanket. He then got up and walked himself out of Grantaire’s apartment.   
Enjolras walked out, to be greeted by Eponine who was arm in arm with Cossette. Eponine looked at him and gave him a sadden smile. Enjolras sighed and nodded to the two of them and continued walking until he heard his name being called. He turned around to see the petite brunette running up to him. “Is he okay?” she asked.  
“No, he’s a mess. He’s sound asleep though on the couch though. I’m going to come by tomorrow and check on him.” Enjolras said.  
Eponine nodded “Thank you, you mean a lot to him Enjolras.”


End file.
